15 Slogans for Death’s New PR Campaign

Originally blogged by Caleb Wilde

Grim Reaper

The Grim Reaper would make an outstanding marketing executive.

Death’s taken some heat lately … he’s taken James Gandolfini.  Paul Bearer.  Tom Clancy.  And let’s be honest, Death is due all the criticism he gets.  But, Death isn’t really that bad of a guy.  He’s just a normal dude with a difficult job.

As an effort to vault Death’s public perception, Death is looking to create a slogan that the world’s public will buy into.  A slogan that will help change the world’s perceptions.

Here are 15 slogans.  You’re the first test group, so feel free to criticize or change any of the slogan’s you see; or add any slogans you can create.

1.  “10 out of 10 human’s are doing it!”

2.  “It’s natural.  It’s good for the environment.  It’s green.  It’s death.”

3.  “I felt great when it happened to me.*” — Elvis Presley.

*Individual results may vary.

4.  “Taking care of business since the beginning of time!”

5.  “Death: It eases all your pain.”

6.  “만나서 반갑습니다.*” –  Kim Jong Il (right before he ordered Death to take him to his next kingdom.)

7.  “Come on over to the light.”

8.  “Death: I’m Your Heavenly chauffeur.*”

*Results may vary.

9.  “If it wasn’t for Me, you’d never have bacon.”

10.  “Be apart of something larger.  Donate yourself back to the universe.  Die.”

11.  “10 out of 10 people who die lose weight.”

12.  “Death: It will leave you breathless.”

13.  “It really helped my political campaign.” — William Wallace.

14.  “Without me, you’d still have Hitler, Stalin and bin Laden.”

15.  “Death: Here for you in your darkest hour.”

****

Lend your creative genius to this effort and don’t let Death down … or he’ll let you down.  Seriously, don’t make him

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